The New York Post, the last bastian of respectable journalism SURRENDER MONKEYS!
THE COUNSEL OF COWARDS PrintEmailStory Bottom
December 7, 2006 -- After nine laborious months, the Iraq Study Group yesterday recom mended that there be peace in the Middle East.
Well, of course.
But how to achieve it?
One word: Surrender.
Surrender in Iraq - and, in due time but inevitably, beyond.
Not in so many words, of course.
The 10-member group, headed by Republican Jim Baker and Democrat Lee Hamilton, wants to pull out U.S. combat troops within 16 months.
It wants Washington to ask those fomenting violence in Iraq - Iran and Syria - to be good fellows and stop it.
And it wants Israel to begin another "dialogue" in pursuit of peace. (Translation: It wants Israel to surrender, too.)
"The situation is grave and deteriorating," the much-hyped report begins, adding: "There is no path that can guarantee success" and "There is no action the American military can take that, by itself, can bring about success in Iraq."
Of course there are no guarantees.
There are never guarantees.
The report decidedly avoids using the word "victory." Rather, it sees only the possibility of somehow improving the odds of "success."
But that's just putting lipstick on this pig of a report.
The fact is, the study group offers 79 recommendations adding up to a cowardly exit from Iraq - and the abandonment of tens of thousands of Iraqis who took America's promises at face value.
Also to be tossed overboard are regional allies who believed America has the will to finish the fight it began.
Does it? That is the question.
President Bush has said quitting the fight "simply has no realism to it at all."
Here's hoping he means it. Because Iraq is a key theater in the broader War on Terror. And anything short of a win there doesn't mean the larger war is lost - but it makes ultimate victory immeasurably harder to achieve.
The group's solution?
Talk to Tehran and Damascus.
But those regimes are already talking: Iran is actively supporting the Shia insurrection in Iraq, and Syria is murdering members of the freely elected Lebanese government.
Which brings us to the study group's focus on a new peace process for Israel and its enemies - which represents utterly breathtaking disregard for decades of failed earlier such efforts.
Israel has made every manner of concession, fruitlessly. To this day, Hamas, Hezbollah and Iran vow only to erase Israel from the map.
But the group wants more diplomacy, because it sees the Arab-Israeli conflict as central to the Middle East puzzle.
Which is nonsense: Israel, in fact, is a vivid symbol of the broader clash between Islamic fundamentalists and jihadis, and Western civilization.
Ending the conflict there can come only with victory in the War on Terror - not the other way around.
Why - absent a strong threat - would Iran, Syria and their puppet dispensers of terror quit, when their efforts to spread their power seem to be succeeding?
Why would they agree to help their enemies - America and Israel?
The answer: They wouldn't.
Baker himself all but admits it: "We didn't get the feeling Iran is champing at the bit to come to the table with us to talk about Iraq," he said. "And in fact we say they very well might not."
No fooling.
Call it anything you like, but this latest prescription for Iraq is nothing more than a plan for surrender. Notwithstanding the disaster that would surely follow.
President Bush should thank the ISG for its work - and promptly toss the report in the trash.
The president has a lot to answer for, but Operation Iraqi Freedom, while badly mismanaged, was a noble - and necessary - undertaking.
The war is not yet lost, nor need it be.
Bush needs courage right now.
The Iraq Study Group counsels cowardice - and, ultimately, a shameful defeat.
i think i'm going to respect [read: not like, but respect] Republican members of this Congress more in the next two years than Dems. Why? Because Pelosi & co. are going to waste time pandering to centrists, sacrificing their ideals in the name of moderation while folks like Arlen Specter (R-PA) make attempts to restore habeas corpus.
We'll see what happens. I suppose it's the best thing that the new majority [controlled, basically, by aforementioned centrist Democrats] can do to moderate until 2008 so that we can get a Democratically controlled executive branch.
. . . but would that be a good thing? Wouldn't the best thing for 2008 America be not Clinton/Obama/Feingold/Bayh, but a McCain/[insert meaningless Veep] with an even more strongly Democratically controlled legislate?
Isn't government better when it's three inches away from gridlock'd?
Let's have a dialogue here. I am expecting comments from Rob, Geoff, Becca J., and Brad. Everyone else will earn a special place in my heart. Sorry to assign you folks homework, but more than half of you cocksucks don't even have finals this week. Anyone else who's listening, please feel free to chime in and invite.
I've decided that the next time I hit up some karaoke, I'm going to start off with some Beastie Boys. The only question is, which of the following should I break off?
So Whatcha Want Hey Ladies Sure Shot Root Down Get It Together The Move Body Movin' Intergalactic -other-
Any suggestions for non-bboys songs would be appreciated as well. Oh, if you're about to suggest Wham's "Young Guns [Go For It!]", it's totally been done.
26-23 in four years 13-19 in SEC Games (2-8 in the last conference games) 4-12 in road games 0-19 when trailing in the 4th Quarter 0-4 v. Auburn 0-4 v. LSU 1-3 v. Tennessee (1 win by 3 points) 1-3 v. Arkansas (including blowing a 3 TD lead in the middle of the 3rd quarter in 2003) 1-11 in rivalry games. 3-10 in November (all 3 wins v. MSU) 6-15 in games decided by one score or less 9 out of 26 victories in the past 4 years have come the state of Mississippi. 14 Offensive Touchdowns v. conference opponents (13 games) since October 15, 2005.
Upsets: Northern Illinios, Hawai'i, Minnesota, Mississippi State
No offensive touchdowns v. Mississippi State in two years.
This season, half of our wins came against three teams with a combined 1 win (Duke, FIU, ULM). This season, we've lost 4 out of the last 5. This season, we squeaked by Vanderbilt, we played Hawai'i close, we lost to Slyvester Croom, and we needed 60 minutes to beat Duke and FIU.
I'm a little bummed that hamsterster was left out of this, but it's still funny.
Facebook: Hey. MySpace: Sup. Facebook: So…how's it going? MySpace: It's going great, actually. How are things with you? Facebook: Not bad. Not bad at all. MySpace: I mean, you had a pretty good idea to start with. Facebook: Now what is THAT supposed to mean. MySpace: You and I both know that you based Facebook on MySpace. Facebook: WHAT!? That's ridiculous. I don't see your users poking each other! MySpace: That's because my users aren't GAY. Facebook: No no, it's not like that, it's like a poke on the shoulder. Or something. MySpace: Oh, ok….GAY. Facebook: Well it's not as gay as Tom. MySpace: You take that back. Facebook: I will not. MySpace: You take that back RIGHT. NOW. Facebook: (singing) Tom is gay, Tom is gay. MySpace: Yeah well at least he's not looking for 'whatever he can get.' Facebook: Hey - we added that option as a JOKE. MySpace: Oh, sure you did. Just like you added Live Feed to 'keep people up to date.' Facebook: Don't even start with Live Feed. We asked our users what they wanted! MySpace: Oh yeah, nice open letter, you homo. Facebook: IT'S IMPORTANT TO KNOW WHAT THE USERS WANT! MySpace: Lame. Facebook: You're just jealous because your users are all old and creepy now. MySpace: If by old and creepy you mean famous musicians, then yes, yes they are. Facebook: That is NOT what I meant, I meant what I said. MySpace: Watch it, Facebook. Don't make me call my Top 8. Facebook: Oh, I'm so scared. Well YOU don't make me call my…my… MySpace: Your what? Your "Friends We Have In Common"? Facebook: Shut up, that's a helpful feature! Better than "Who I'd Like To Meet." MySpace: Yeah, well you FREE IPOD CLICK HERE TO WIN (pause) Facebook: What the hell was that?! MySpace: Oh nothing, don't worry about that, I have a tic and sometimes- Facebook: That was a pop-up, wasn't it?? MySpace: I HAVE A TIC!!! Facebook: Hahaha you have pop-ups and you can't control them! MySpace: I can to! I can stop them whenever I want! Facebook: Whatever you say, sell-out. MySpace: Oh I'm sorry, what? I can't hear you over the sound of my money. [Silence. A door opens] Friendster: Oh, hey guys!! What's going on?? MySpace/Facebook: Fag.
Two years ago, we were duped again. Two years ago, we turned this country's biggest problems into a referendum on men who like to kiss other men. Two years ago, we chose to take another step to turning the Bill of Rights into Leviticus. Two years ago, we let rationality fall on deaf ears.
Two years ago, we ignored the corporate stranglehold on America. We felt that cronyism, incompetence, and a complete lack of care for our fellow man were no big deal. We set the stage for hate-based legislation passed under the guise of morality.
Two years ago, we felt that talking about homeland security was more productive than actually executing it. We let a smooth-talkin', mask-wearin' administration talk their way into renewing their lease for another four years.
Two years ago, we chose to elect nutjobs and racists like Jim Bunning and Tom Coburn while tossing Tom Daschle and Wayne Sowell aside.
Two years ago, we stayed home. We wore our shirts and we waved our flags and talked about our biggest problems.
Two years ago, we thought we had a direction-change on lockdown.
Two years ago, the biggest hypocrites were you and I.
In the little tiny non-political corner of my brain, I need to cherish every moment I have from now until February. In the larger arena of my mindset these days, I would gladly hand over the next 23 days of my life if it were election day right now. In many ways, this election has such a higher stake than in 2004.
This election, when it comes down to it, will be a referendum not only on our President, but the entire Republican ruling class as a whole. Until now, there was nothing that could stop the GOP in what has been almost 12 years of their contract with America. Rigging elections, using their own voter base like cheap whores, and politicizing everything from God and Jesus to the deaths of over 3000 Americans five years ago has finally caught up to them. They're finally tripping over their own gigantic clown shoes and all the supposed ineptitude within the Democratic party can't stop the change that's going to come on November 7th.
There has been no oversight in our government in the past 5 years. There have been no checks, no balances, nothing that could expedite the colossal implosion of the Grand Old Party that we're currently witnessing. Perhaps it's better this way. Perhaps this is the best way to demonstrate to the people of this once great country that the ideals of a once great party has disintergrated into one is built around a philosophy of giving tax cuts to those who don't need it, cronyism, hate-influenced legislation, and a vaccum of accountability and personal responsibility. The party in which America put their faith in 1994 has become an amorphous blob of incompetence, finger-pointing, and buck-passing.
That being said, to soon-to-be Speaker Nancy Pelosi, to [hopefully] soon-to-be Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid, to Dick Durbin, to Joe Biden, to Hillary Clinton, to Diane Feinstein, Barbara Boxer, Bill Nelson, Barack Obama, Evan Bayh, Ted Kennedy, John Kerry, Chuck Shumer, to Russ Feingold, Pat Leahy, Artur Davis, to Tom Vilsack, to Bill Richardson, Mark Warner, Tim Kaine, even to Antonio Villaraigosa, I want you and all the others in your party to remember this, just remember this moment.
Remember this moment and grant us this one request:
Please don't fuck us.
Your rivals and our President had an amazingly unique opportunity to unite this entire country even before 9/11. They promised to change the tone in Washington [assuming it needed changing] and to usher in a new wave of compassionate conservatism [assuming that isn't an oxymoron. Now the Democratic party has that same opportunity. They can reverse the complete absence of responsibility in our government. They can clean up Washington. They can change the tone when it's needed a good shake-up more than ever.
Now the Democratic party has an entire wide-receiving corp, all alone in the endzone. Don't blow this pass and don't give up.
60 Minutes story on David's Kuo's book A Loss of Faith, a work about the current administration's blatant use of Religion by a means of political gain.
"You name a religious leader, and I have heard them mocked." -David Kuo
I'm under the assumption that few people are aware that Natalie Merchant + 10,000 Maniacs' "Because the Night" was actually written by Bruce Springsteen. You can download his version anywhere, and it's so much better.
That being said, the BEST version is Jan Wayne's. This song was meant to be an amped up dance song. Don't feel it yet? Oh, you will once random bald man informs you that, "Jan Wayne's gonna move yaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!"
Sitting Treasurer Ivey touts a career in banking, economic development and higher education administration on her website and claims (I swear to God) she "gets [her] jollies standing up for the Alabama taxpayer!"
As one her biggest accomplishments, she brags about authoring legislation which streamlined Alabama's unclaimed property law "which helped reunite record numbers of Alabamaians with their unclaimed property being held by the State." Ivey was also elected to the Executive Board of the College Savings Plan Network.
If this is the case, Ivey's concept of the State Treasurer's job is to pick up where human interest investigative pieces on a local news station left off.
Steve Segrest is really tall, has an impressive moustache, and his teeth could blind you from a mile away. Seriously. They're huge.
Segrest has the advantage of coming across as more of an idealist than his opponent. He stresses issues that are more pressing to the state than merely unclaimed property. Steve-o is concerned with in-state campaign finance reform and an affordable college tuition program. The latter of the two is especially important considering our great state's constant insistence that, college affordability be damned, a lottery is always, always, always a terribly idea.
The verdict: Segrest by a hair. Ivey's been in office for four years and hasn't accomplished anything spectacular. Smilin' Steve has the luxury of bringing new ideas and a fresh face to Montgomery. A big-toothed, bushy-moustached face.
I totally had to look up 'moustache' on spell check. It was my darkest hour.
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